My Ex-husband’s Wife Died and I’m Sad But I Am Not Sorry

Susan Bostian
9 min readAug 24, 2021

Do I sound insensitive? Let me explain.

Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

The story begins a little over 30 years ago. I am living in New Jersey with my husband and two children. We have just finished a major renovation of our beautiful home. We live in a lovely little neighborhood with an excellent school and best friends who feel like family. Life is good.

Two venture capitalists (VC’s) approach my husband with what I have come to see as the ultimate seduction. They initially ask for his opinion about opportunities in his field. It starts off casually but over a few months, it evolves into a full-blown affair.

After he has described his dream company, they ask him if he wants to make it a reality. Everyone is extremely excited about bringing this idea to life. The VC’s fly out to New Jersey and over exquisite wine and a lavish dinner, the official proposal is offered.

At the peak of the pitch, it turns out there is only one small obstacle between us and living happily ever after. The Venture Capitalists insist that the company must be in California. We don’t want to move.

One of the VC’s focuses his attention on my husband while the other one engages me in a conversation about the importance of financial freedom and the future of our children. Divide and conquer. Out of the corner of my eye, I see our molten lava chocolate dessert melting.

We agree to visit California and the VC’s quickly book us into a plush hotel. We bring the kids to see the fields of gold and agree to seriously consider the move. We meet real estate agents and school principals, and after looking at housing prices and school scores, we are convinced that a move to California would not be beneficial for our family.

After four days, we say no, thank you, to the VC’s.

The next day as we are driving to the airport to fly back to New Jersey, we get a phone call from the man who has been chosen to be the lawyer for the new company and his wife, Meg. (Yes, I have changed her name.)

They plead with us to give them a chance to change our minds. They want to take us out and show us what life would really be like if we stayed. I still remember the spot where I was looking out the car window when we…